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A Good Husband
A man wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.

He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees it is in prefect order. So's the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love you."

He goes to the kitchen. Sure enough, a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper await him.

His son is also at the table, eating. The man asks, "Son, what happened last night?"

His son says, "Well, you came home after 3 am, drunk and delirious. You broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you walked into the door."

Confused, the man asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, with breakfast on the table waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Oh that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off you shouted, "Lady, get your hands off me! I'm married!"